Where Did the Decade Go?

2010...
Where did the year go?
Where did the DECADE go?
What exactly were my resolutions for the year 2000? ...or even 2009?

Honestly, I don't remember the resolutions I made for for the new millennium... But I can count all the changes in my life, changes that I couldn't have predicted, planned or prevented from happening.
Life unfolded whether I kept my annual promises to myself or not!

Everyone knows the New Year's resolutions that are so hard to keep:
I will lose weight, quit a bad habit, join a gym and work out 3 times a week...blah, blah, blah...
But whether you stick to your resolutions or give up after a few weeks, accomplish your goals or forget them in a year, one thing is certainly true:
2011 will be here before you know it!


In the past decade, I have both gained, and lost, friends and members of my family. The adorable nieces & nephews, toddlers in 2000, have changed into teenagers, and will be finished with college by the time the next decade changes. My teenage kids who drove me so crazy that I wished they would grow up faster? Now it feels like a special occasion when they come home... And the precious grandparents, will we still have them when another 10 years goes by?

At the start of this new decade, I am stunned at the speed at which
time passes and life changes.
So my simple resolution is:
Pay more attention to today!
Whatever happens, good or bad, 2010 will seem to have passed in a blink by 2020!

If I pay attention to today, when I look in the mirror I'll smile and remember that
this is as young as I'll ever be.

If I pay attention to today, I will keep in touch with my loved ones,
because every one of them will grow and change,
and some may even be gone, before this new decade is through.

If I pay attention to today,
I will worry less what people think of my clothes or my hair or my less-than-model figure.
And get up and dance! Or go swimming in a bikini! Or wear red instead of gray!
Or do any and all of those things I keep putting off until later...

Guaranteed that I won't remember what I didn't do in 2010,
but I will remember what I did!

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!
What are your resolutions?
and what would you like to remember about 2010 this time next year?

Every Day is a Special Occassion

My husband came home from work the other day,
wearing a beautiful sage green shirt, very soft & silky, and a nice change from his usual tan-white-navy-gray "business casual" attire.
I complimented him, and asked when he had time to shop for it,since he never likes to go shopping.

"Oh, I've had this for years, it's my favorite shirt".
If that was so, why had I never seen it before?
"I never wear my favorite shirts, I always save them. Stupid, I know, but I'm afraid I will ruin them”.
When he said that, I realized I wasn't the only one who saves up the "good stuff"!

I thought about my closet, full of things that were barely ever worn,
and yet are possibly out of style already.
(OK, most are already out of style!)
I thought about the “fancy” dishes in the cabinet, dusty and ignored, the unworn jewelry, waiting for an “occasion”, the special guest towels, neatly folded and never used.

What was I waiting for? To get thinner? Younger? Richer?
How many other things did I have in my life that I was saving up
for some mysterious, extraordinary, magical day
when there will be no chance of ruining them?
And when will that day ever come...?

I immediately changed out of my yucky "around the house" tee shirt
into a pretty, trendy little blouse that seemed a bit too fancy for just hanging out and decided:
TODAY may be the special occasion I've been waiting for!
It was just another Friday night, both of us tired from a long work week and a little bit grumpy at the thought of all the weekend chores ahead of us...but somehow when we both had on our favorite shirts for no particular reason, we felt like going out for a drink to celebrate!

What are you, dear reader, waiting for?
What is stopping you from the pleasure of using what you already have
in your closet, your home, your heart, your life?
And what would happen if you gave yourself permission
to use these special things right now, TODAY?




PS: 100% of all sales through Amazon.com will be donated to food charities this month. Give a gift of More to Love and help a hungry family through the holiday season!

Get a Gift and Give a Donation!

I always donate 10% of sales to food banks
in gratitude for the food I received for my family during the time in my life when I was a single mom and had very little income.

During the month of December,
I will donate 100% of all sales from More to Love
to local food banks.

For the cost of a cute t-shirt,
you'll get a cute book AND help feed a hungry family.

So make someone smile with a gift of
More to Love from Amazon.com
and give a gift to those in need.

PS: Want to "try before you buy"?
10 illustrated pages from More to Love
and look around this blog for lots more excerpts!

A Serving of Stress for Thanksgiving?

More to Love Cook Book

Recipe for a Great Life:
1. Live, Laugh, Love!
2. Work, Play, Dream!
3. Cook, Eat, Enjoy!

fromMore to Love, © Elizabeth Patch, all rights reserved

I have a complicated series of feasts to attend and cook for this week.

My husband's family and my family live hundreds of miles away in different directions. Our children and step-children split holidays with our ex-spouses, and we rarely get the entire tribe all together at the same table. So we've come up with a system of multiple Thanskgivings in order to celebrate with our scattered parents, kids, grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc.

For many of you too, this is a week full of cooking, traveling and a whole lot of eating...

And a good serving of stress!

If your stress is because you are nervous that you will burn the gravy, or drop the hot pie on the kitchen floor, or find the cat standing in the middle of the fully set table, chewing on the centerpiece,
Here is my simple hostess advice:
Ask for help! Delegate!
And try to have a sense of humor.
Funny stories and memories are almost as good as the food!

Sometime the stress is about eating all that holiday food.
Its the annoyance of your aunt insisting on a second helping of her "famous" stuffing when you really don't like it, or the stomach ache you always get because of the wine and coffee, cheese and turkey, butter and sugar combinations that you are not used to.
Its worrying about "cheating" on your diet.
Its the snide remarks family members make about your weight.

Here is my simple holiday meal advice:
Its a holiday! Allow yourself to enjoy all the hard work & love that went into the food.
Remember moderation. Remember to stop when full.
Compliment the cook, but don't eat to please someone else.
Ignore the snide remarks ( but feel free complain about it to your friends later!)

For anyone who has any issues with food, whether its eating too much or too little, facing all the traditional (fattening, delicious, wonderful) Thanksgiving food is another, very serious stress.
If you have a full-on eating disorder,
Thanksgiving could be terrifying to think that you might gain weight,
or will lose control and binge until you hurt yourself.
I pray that if this describes you, you will seek out
someone who can help you through this week!

I am thankful for so very many things in my life,
but this year I must add how thankful I am to share my art and writing with all of you
who have connected with me since More to Love was published 9 months ago.
Many blessings to you and your loved ones!

Now go Cook, Eat, Enjoy!

PS: an interesting NY Times article about fighting over food at Thanksgiving

The Importance of Doing Nothing

I think most women lead lives that are over-booked and frantic with "Things I MUST Do":
the house, the kids, the job, the shopping, the errands, the bills, the yard, the cooking, the cleaning (and on and on and on!)
And then there are the things that you WANT to do:
spending time with your friends and loved ones, working on a craft or hobby, reading a book or watching a movie, getting your nails done or taking a class, writing in your journal or blog, knitting or cooking or painting or gardening.
Try squeezing anything extra into a busy life and even pleasurable things can become a chore!

But when was the last time you gave yourself permission to daydream?
Permission to just lie around in your PJs on a rainy Saturday morning,
or sit on the beach and stare at the clouds,
or gaze out the window instead of at your computer screen.
Not thinking about anything in particular...
Not making lists of what to do next...
Not feeling guilty for being lazy or unproductive...
Not worrying about your family, your money, your chores, or even your body.
Permission to just do nothing.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to just be quiet, be still, be you?
Somewhere inside all of this noisy, busy life you lead is who you really are.
The You who has no size, no shape, no color, no age.
The You who has no concern for what other people think.
The You who is carefree and creative, funny and playful, unselfconscious and innocent.

If you can't remember the last time you doodled or daydreamed,
if your focus is on everything and everybody else,
if you concentrate on the outer you and forget the inner you,
then it's time to treat yourself to an hour, a day, a weekend of doing nothing.

A little bit of nothing makes all of the "everything else" so much easier to do.

This illustration is for my next book in progress, in which "Big Girls" do everything except cry.
I posted the original sketch for this painting back in July.

She is daydreaming about...

How to Survive the Holidays!

I'm a big fan of browsing celebrity magazines while waiting in line at the supermarket. The latest star-studded scandal, finding out who has cellulite (ha! who doesn't?), who broke up with who, etc. Sometimes I'll pick a long line just to have more time with this fascinating form of literature...

I also like flipping through women's magazines, even though they always seem to have the same formula: CHEAP FASHION, LATEST HAIRSTYLES, SAVE MONEY, GET ENERGY, FAST MEALS, START YOUR OWN HOME BUSINESS.

What I really find amusing/confusing are the NEW! LOSE WEIGHT headlines paired with extravagent homemade desserts, photographed with every delicious detail.

The "Holiday Survival Issue" usually features both handy calorie tips (Champagne: 91, Seltzer: zero!) and full-spread menus of traditional and new holiday favorites, with every delicious sauce, gravy, stuffing and topping imaginable.
Such mixed messages!

Even if you usually choose foods that optimize your health and well-being,
and have managed to learn to "eat when hungry, stop when full",
it really is a challenge to remain balanced when your co-workers start bringing holiday goodies to work and when bowls of candy and home-baked cookies start appearing everywhere you look!

On top of all of the added family and financial pressures that the "Big Holidays" bring,
it's almost impossible to enjoy the festivities if the entire season becomes
a battle of good food vs. sinful food,
a struggle between total willpower vs. total failure,
a competition between looking slim in a holiday dress and baking 1001 different cookies to give as gifts...
no wonder they call it holiday survival!

Here is my 4 sentence "HOLIDAY SURVIVAL PLAN".
I illustrated it with a summer picnic, but it really works for any holiday.

The More to Love Diet Plan

I make healthy choices whenever I can,
but forgive myself when I don't.

I eat when I'm hungry, not when I'm stressed,
but forgive myself if I do.

I practice moderation, not denial.

I feed myself with love.

© Elizabeth Patch, all rights reserved
from "More to Love", written & illustrated by Elizabeth Patch

Special foods are an essential part of the memories & traditions of the holidays.

Enjoy them with this 4 word holiday survival plan:
Choices. Forgiveness. Moderation. Love.

The Strong Mommies Blog did a reprint of this post.
Leave them a comment too!

Illustration Friday: Skinny

This week's topic on Illustration Friday is "Skinny".
But which of my illustrations do I pick?

For those of you visiting for the first time, I am committed to making positive art for the plus-size majority, trying in my own small way to counteract some of the relentless images of super-skinny women that we are bombarded with every single day. The unnaturally thin images of women seen in magazines, on the TV or movie screens, or even as mannequins in the mall, have a powerful brainwashing effect when viewed over a lifetime.

Even if we don't really believe that we need to be skinny in order to be attractive, valuable or loved, we waste an awful lot of time and energy feeling bad about our thighs (or bums or bellies), and sharing this misery with each other through endless conversations that start with "I'm so fat"...
Women have always come in all shapes and sizes!
Let's learn to accept & respect the amazingly wonderful, fascinating and beautiful diversity of sizes that we all are!


What is Illustration Friday?
According to their website:
"Illustration Friday is a weekly illustration challenge. A topic is posted every Friday and then participants have all week to come up with their own interpretation."

PS: See 10 illustrated pages from More to Love here

Win an Autographed Copy of More to Love

To celebrate my birthday this year,
I'm giving away an autographed copy of "More to Love"
every day during the month of November.
I want to show my appreciation to all of the friends, fans and followers I've made this year.
I hope that my art and words have made at least some of you smile.
Thanks for making this year a great start for my first book!

Click & Enter to Win More to Love
Everyone who enters will get some free art to download:
desktop backgrounds, coloring pages, plus-size paper dolls (Ms. Apple & Ms. Pear!)
Plus a very occasional, Once-in-Awhile Newsletter with links to free art for fans only.

And 30 of you will be getting an email from me asking where to send the book!

BTW: I started this blog on my birthday, the year I finally decided to take my little idea out of the box in the attic. Here is my very first post.

Rubenesque

Work of Art

Look at yourself
through a painter's eyes.
Look at yourself
through a sculptor's hands.
Look at yourself
through a poet's words.

You are an incredible woman!
from More to Love, © Elizabeth Patch, all rights reserved


This illustration & story comes from my experience as a high school art teacher.


Imagine a room full of teenage girls.
These girls live in a magical land filled with images of beautiful women.
These beautiful women are all extremely tall and extremely thin.
They never appear to be older than age 20.
Sometimes these beautiful women have surgically enlarged breasts.
Sometimes these women have been digitally altered to have longer legs or smaller hips,
or skin as smooth and sleek as a doll.

Tell these girls about the beautiful daughters of Zeus,
Euphrosyne, Aglaea and Thalia, who represent the feminine Graces of Beauty, Charm and Joy. They presided over banquets to entertain and delight the guests of the Gods.
Tell them about the painter Peter Paul Rubens and the Baroque period of art,
with its emphasis on curving forms, luscious colors and details, rich mythological meanings, swirling movement, dramatic composition.


Now imagine showing the following painting by Reubens to these teenagers:
The Three Graces, by Peter Paul Rubens, 1636-1638 Museo del Prado
See the Wikipedia entry for this painting

I bet you can guess their reaction!
THESE are the beautiful daughters of Zeus??!!?
Eeeuu! Fat!
Soft & squishy arms!
Cellulite! Butt dimples!
Belly rolls! Gross! Ugly!

But their reaction is really no different from the kind of fault-finding that most of us participate in every single day when we look in the mirror...

The term "Rubenesque" refers to a "plump, fleshy woman" according to my dictionary.
To modern eyes, trained to admire the Perfect Thin Beauty, Ruben's women seem too fleshy, and beyond plump; they're just plain disgusting!
In fact, they are neither fat nor abnormally fleshy; they are fairly accurate representations of normal female (Caucasian) adult bodies.


Let's put some (extremely tight) clothes on these Graces.



While they may not be on the cover of Vogue, I don't think that our gal pals Euphrosyne, Aglaea and Thalia deserve such a strongly negative reaction, do you?

These "painted ladies" are no more "real" that the photographs in a magazine. Artists, Rubens included, always change things around to meet an ideal. But they show us that feminine beauty has NOT always been associated with angular, lanky and bony figures. That in fact, the normal curves, dimples, rolls and bulges that we all have (sooner or later!) can be a thing of beauty, value, pride, desire.
That even Goddesses have cellulite.





Here's your self-esteem homework:
Go to an art museum and walk through any century except the 20th.
Study the women.
And then try to "look at yourself through a painter's eyes..."

PS: if you are nowhere near a museum, these two sites will keep you busy for hours!
The Metropolitan Museum of Art
The Louvre

This is End Fat Talk Week!

Here is a link to my post on ending "Fat Talk"
including the illustrated page in "More to Love" on the same topic.

Below is a video produced by the TriDelta Sorority, sponsors of "End Fat Talk" Week.